Do you envy your friends for their possessions? Do you become jealous when somebody makes a better life for themselves than you? So here goes a similar story;
Two close friends, Rita and Anita, were always competing with each other in a friendly yet envious way. Rita was very often successful in her endeavors. At the same time, Anita strived to be just as successful but was not always able to do so.
As time passed, their envy only grew. One day, Rita announced that she had landed a prestigious job that would bring her great wealth and prestige.
But this time, Anita was too envious of her friend’s good fortune with all the ill thoughts, so she went home grumpy. She was so jealous of her friend’s success that she kept thinking of plans and evil ways to get even!
So how should this story of envy end? So buckle up – suspense awaits!
Discover what envy is, how it affects us, and strategies for recognizing and guarding against this powerful cognitive bias in your life.
Understanding The “Envy”
“Envy” is a cognitive bias involving resentment and discontent towards another person or group’s successes, possessions, and qualities. It typically arises when one perceives that another has something they want but cannot have.
Envy can affect how individuals perceive and interact with others, leading to negative behaviors such as gossiping, sabotage, or passive aggression. It can also impact one’s self-esteem and sense of worth, leading to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt.
One of the highlights where envy bias can occur is when individuals compare themselves to others. In the context of siblings, when a person feels envious of their sibling’s success or achievements, they may harbor negative feelings and resentments towards them.
This can lead to a biased view of their sibling’s accomplishments and abilities, perceiving them as having an unfair advantage or always being one step ahead.
To overcome envy bias, focus on your strengths and accomplishments instead of comparing them. Practice gratitude for what one has, and cultivate positive emotions by turning the focus inward. This can lead to a more fulfilling and contented life.
However, despite envy being an unpleasant emotion to experience, it can push us to work harder or strive further to achieve success or reach our goals. Therefore, if channeled correctly, it can be used as a tool for growth rather than destruction.
Exploited And Exploiters
Envy typically targets individuals who possess something others desire but cannot obtain. This could be material possessions like cars, houses, or jewelry, as well as intangible things such as success, a great job, or an attractive partner.
Those who exploit envy may use it as a means to exert power and control over their victims, often resorting to intimidation or psychological abuse. Throughout history, manipulating people into feeling envious has been used to gain and maintain power.
Day-To-Day Envy
- A jealous colleague who wants the same promotion as someone else and puts them down to make themselves look better.
- When your best friend gets a new phone, you feel envious and decide to upgrade your phone so that you don’t fall behind.
- Seeing someone with an expensive watch or designer clothes and wanting to purchase the same for yourself so that you can look “cool.”
- Becoming jealous when someone else receives recognition for their work or achieves something great, even though it has nothing to do with you directly.
- Comparing your finances or lifestyle to others motivates you to work harder and secure higher earnings.
Recognizing When You Are Slipping Into The Envy Trap
It is important to know how your emotions influence your actions to identify if you are falling into the trap of envy. Signs that you may be acting out of envy include feelings of jealousy or resentment.
When somebody has something you do not have, a desire to one-up others or out-perform them to boost your self-esteem and a fear that you are falling behind or being left behind by those around you.
It is also important to step back and ask yourself why you feel these emotions. This can help put things into perspective and make better decisions.
Overcoming the Envy
- Acknowledge your envy – admitting that it exists will help you take steps to deal with it.
- Appreciate what you have – remind yourself of the good things in life, and be grateful for them.
- Create healthy boundaries – set limits for yourself to prevent succumbing to feelings of envy or resentment towards others.
- Reframe your thinking – when an envious thought arises, try to see it from a different perspective or focus on something positive instead.
- Practice self-care – take care of your emotional and physical well-being by engaging in activities that bring you joy and relaxation, such as exercise or spending time in nature.
- Reach out for support – connect with friends and family members who can provide encouragement and understanding when needed.
- Take action – instead of getting stuck in your thoughts and feelings, find ways to work towards achieving goals that make you proud and satisfy your ambitions without comparing yourself to anyone else.
Final Thoughts
All in all, envy is a state of mind that can be harmful and helpful. So, returning to continue our “Story of Envy,” We have three different versions for you to satiate our perception.
Ending number 1:
However, the next day she learned something remarkable: Rita had secretly wished for her childhood friend’s success too! She had planted the seeds for her impressive career opportunities by connecting Anita with people in her network who could help her succeed too.
Anita couldn’t believe that despite their rivalry, Rita had set her up for success and hadn’t told her about it until now. Her kind gesture showed what true friendship meant – even though they were competitive, they still wanted the best for each other.
Moral of Story A: Remember that there is no room for jealousy and envy among friends without compromising our appreciation of one another’s successes!
Ending number 2:
Anita was so envious of Rita’s success that she came up with a plan to get even. She decided to start her own business, something that would be bigger and better than what Rita had accomplished. She worked hard and put in countless hours, but in the end, it paid off – she managed to launch her own business and make it successful!
Moral of Story B: Celebrate the hard work, not the envy it takes to succeed!
Ending number 3:
Anita was saddened at her inability to combat her envy and keep her focus. Despite her efforts, she found it impossible to control the thoughts of envy that consumed her and eventually gave in, resigned to a life of perpetual envy and regret.
Moral of Story C: Cant you all guess?
Does it all come down to how we want to deal with our envious situation? First, we must know how “Our” story of envy should end. Then, we can either use the emotion or deal with it healthily.
Finally
Envy is a destructive emotion that harms individuals more than benefits them. Hope this article has helped you understand envy better and given you some tools to work with the next time. If you enjoyed this blog post, do subscribe to our newsletter for more content like this!
Reference
The above article is based on the book Thinking Clearly; this article is here to help us learn and understand how our minds can be tricked by something called cognitive biases.