Ever wondered why certain people are held to a different standard than the rest of us?
Why would you be willing to do favors for others with the expectation that they should return your favor?
Invariably we are in the grips of society’s most pervasive yet least understood force – Reciprocity!
Reciprocity is the tendency to return favors. Here we explore overcoming traps, getting ahead, and making the most of this powerful cognitive bias.
Understanding Reciprocity Bias
Reciprocity is the tendency to return a favor that someone has done for you in the first place. So when someone does something nice for us, we’re more likely to reciprocate and do something nice in return.
This cognitive bias is closely linked to how we socialize and is often at play when making decisions about relationships or offering assistance to others.
This is the reason why you’ll often find people trying to get on your good side before asking a big favor. They know you’ll be more likely to oblige by making the initial gesture. It’s an elegant way of getting people to behave in beneficial ways.
Must have experienced this when dining out; a restaurant may offer free food samples to make customers feel obligated to purchase something from their menu. However, have you ever asked yourself why the restaurant was generous and offered free food? What are the hidden costs associated with it? Do consider evaluating and ensuring that reciprocity tricks don’t waste your money important, as there is never a free lunch!
The Exploited and The Exploiters
Victims of the reciprocity bias typically include young children and inexperienced individuals who are unaware of the strategies used by manipulators. On the other hand, those who take advantage of this bias are usually experienced social manipulators.
People who benefit understand that making a gesture first can increase their chances of achieving their desired outcome as their target is more likely to respond positively due to feeling obligated to return the favor.
Day-To-Day Reciprocity Bias
- A store owner offers a discount on a single purchase to encourage customers to buy more items.
- A waiter takes your order and helps you set up the table but then asks for an extra tip to reward his efforts.
- You get invited to a party where you are offered free drinks, but then you are asked if you can bring something else to ‘reciprocate.’
- An employer or teacher tries to guilt trip an employee or student into working harder by stressing how much their hard work and dedication are appreciated.
Recognizing When You’re Slipping into the Reciprocity Trap
One way to identify whether or not you are falling into the trap of Reciprocity is to assess the situation objectively.
For example, ask yourself if the decision or action you are taking out of obligation truly benefits you in some way or if it is just something that was solicited from you by another person.
Additionally, evaluate the potential consequences before making a decision; if accepting a favor means putting yourself at risk, don’t be afraid to decline politely.
Overcoming the Reciprocity Bias Trap
It helps if one can evaluate the situation and take some proactive steps to escape the trap; here are a few pointers to help you out:
Practice self-awareness
Being conscious of our own actions and reactions, as well as how we perceive the actions of others, is crucial in enabling us to make objective decisions.
Set boundaries
Setting boundaries for ourselves and others help prevent us from falling into the trap. We should be able to recognize when a request becomes too much and needs to be turned down or redirected to maintain a healthy level of reciprocity.
Know your limits
We must know our limitations when it comes to what we can and cannot do or contribute so that we don’t overextend ourselves or get taken advantage of due to our eagerness or generosity.
Take back control
Suppose we find ourselves in an uncomfortable situation where we feel like someone is trying to take advantage of us through a sense of obligation. In that case, it is important to understand our rights and take back control by refusing politely but firmly.
Choose your battles
Not everything needs immediate attention, nor should we constantly offer favors without expecting anything in return. This will eventually lead us to unwanted obligations or expectations from the other party.
Please do not assume anything
Another mistake people often make when trying to cover their bases is assuming that the other person knows what they mean by their offer; this could create misconceptions that will lead the conversation in an unwanted direction. Clear communication with no room for assumptions will help avoid such situations altogether.
Change perspective
One way out of the seemingly never-ending cycle of Reciprocity is changing perspective – instead of seeing every little thing as an act with potential payback values attached, look at each encounter holistically and try not to attach any strings or conditions onto them beyond basic mutual respect and appreciation for each others company and efforts put forth in the present moment.
Final Thought
Humans are naturally inclined to repay favors and reciprocate kindness, even if the favor is small. Have you ever noticed how politicians behave, during an election campaign or in government, trying to win the favor of voters by showering them with freebies? It’s like they’re all trying to one-up each other with promises of more and more free stuff. But why do they do it?
Well, this is all part of the reciprocity principle. Think of it like a “you scratch my back; I’ll scratch yours” kind of thing. So, politicians offering freebies hope that voters will feel obligated to them and return the favor by casting their vote or supporting their campaigns. It is like a psychological manipulation tactic that taps into our innate sense of fairness and reciprocity.
But this tactic has its flaws, and many times the freebies aren’t enough to sway people’s votes, or they end up feeling cheated when the politician doesn’t deliver on their promises. And let us be real, who wants to be bought off with money or a zero electricity bill? Ultimately, it is crucial to keep in mind that our ballot should reflect the values and policies of the candidate rather than simply being swayed by promises and bribes.
Thereupon, politely decline any payolas and cast your vote for the candidate who truly represents your beliefs. Remember, there is never a free lunch! Do you have any personal experiences with the Reciprocity Bias? Do spill the beans in the comments below. To learn more about cognitive biases and their impact on decision-making, subscribe to our newsletter for updates!
Reference
The above article is based on the book Thinking Clearly; this article is here to help us learn and understand how our minds can be tricked by something called cognitive biases.